Read what happened to Simon when he attended the last Alpha Course at Highfield with Fay…
I’m a new Christian and an old Christian. A believer in my early childhood, and one now. I slowly lost my faith between the ages of six and ten. Whether through arrogance, rebellion against an ultimate authority, or a misunderstanding of how human suffering fits in with a loving God. By the time I was an adult I ceased most thought about God, Jesus, and the experiences I had had of the Holy Spirit. Distant memories from a distant childhood. One thing lingered that I couldn’t put my finger on – Hope.
Fast forward twenty three years, and having encouraged Fay to undertake a degree with the Open University, I found myself invited to an Alpha Course by her, to further her understanding of Christianity from a human perspective, rather than academically. At first I refused, a waste of my time I thought. Then I offered to drive her there and wait in the car, catching up with work, or some other useful activity. However it was my presence and support that was requested, so I reluctantly agreed to attend with Fay.
The friendliness and welcome were the first noticeable things. The gift of an evening meal, especially one that was tailored to my dietary requirements, was very humbling, coming from complete strangers.
The small group discussions allowed me to ask questions I didn’t know I had, and put my early childhood faith into context. The weekend away, one we could only attend in part, allowed quiet reflection, one-to-one chats, and mutual support with deeply personal issues. I went away with an understanding of Christianity, that perhaps with reflection, I never had. The morning after our brief visit to the Alpha weekend, I awoke, at home, feeling somewhat different. I realised that I had been holding back my faith, not dispensing with it completely. An irrational denial of faith, caused by a fundamentalist adherence to a doctrine of rationality! It had been a bad fit with me, and the sudden release from it felt like a weight of my shoulders.
This was the point where it happened, in bed staring up at the ceiling. A realisation that I could now, unhindered, open my heart to Jesus, give myself over, and repent my sins and be forgiven. It was a big leap. I wasn’t expecting a response. I imagined myself getting up and having a normal day. Instead I had an intense feeling of love and well-being, one that lasted for days. It shook my world and I wanted to tell everyone about it. I quite rightly checked my sanity, nervous breakdowns can happen, but no, I was performing my job without problem, I was functioning, I just had something wonderful added to my life.
The feeling is still there, particularly at moments when I think of Him. We’re now attending our nearest church, and we are both participating in their confirmation class. I hope many of you who wish to, will be available to attend when the time comes.
A new course starts on February 24 2010 and runs every Wednesday for 8 weeks. For more information please contact the Alpha team.
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